Problem, No, Just Me
by bojoflo12
Summary: Beka feels the guilt of something so terrible it is crushing her. Her cousin is trying to show her the way and trying to get her mind off things. But when everything goes wrong and Beka realizes that she had been lied to her whole life, is she able to be made whole again? Or will the madness crush her?
1. Beginnings

I closed my eyes, standing quietly. The soft murmurs surrounded me, worsening the blow of what happened, and they were right. It was all my fault.

I had gone to see my friend at her house and my dad drove over to come get me. We were in the car arguing and we didn't see the person in the road. We hit them and rolled... my dad, um, my dad wrapped around me to protect me and he got killed instantly with the brunt of the blow. I don't remember getting to the hospital. All I remember is that I started the argument. I had been the one to survive. I had been the one to kill my father.

I am at his funeral now and I can't stand all the false apologies, wondering, huh, why am I alive? My mother was dead. I killed her too, while she was giving birth to me and now I killed my dad, too? I was all alone. No brothers or sisters, no mom, no dad. Just a stupid 16 year old girl who kills everyone she loves, just by being around them. The worst part is that I'm not even able to mourn on my own. I have to move to 'Mystic Falls' where ever that is. That is where my only living relatives are. I mean come on! I've only met them once when i was ten and they met us here! Not in the middle of nowhere! But I had to calm down, I promised myself that I wouldn't cry. Screw that. The tears poured down my face and the guilt was eating me alive.

* * *

(3 months later)

In, out. I thought, just breath. "Whew, okay. I can do this." I whispered. I stepped off the bus, onto the sidewalk. A woman with bright blond hair was standing there and asked, "Are you Beka?" I gave a nod and wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. "Good. Oh, I'm Sue, but please call me Aunt Sue." then she broke into a wide smile and wrapped her arms around me in a large hug. I was shocked, so I just stood there, like a statue. "I am so sorry about your father. He was so good to me when my daughter passed away." I could tell she meant what she said, from the glistening tears in her eyes, but it still hurt like a bullet in my heart so I just nodded and turned away. She ushered me into her car and we drove to her home...my...my home.

My heart beat quickened as I stepped over the threshold of the house. Aunt Sue pulled me into the kitchen and told me to sit while she made sure that everything was good in my new room. Her son was in there, turned around, facing the sink, and as she left the room, he turned and looked at me. He was undoubtedly the most handsome boy I had ever seen. He had light, slightly shaggy brown hair and piercing blue eyes, that light up with interest that he tried to hide. I self-consciously looked down and then thought, NO! I looked up and glared at him. His finely curved mouth, slowly turned up in a smile and he winked at me. I raised an eyebrow and Sue walked in, clearly oblivious to the fact that her son was flirting with a highly angered teen who just lost her father. Sue smiled, "Follow me." and led me down the hall to a spacious room. "This'll be your room, k, hon."

"Ya, thanks." I nodded and smiled. "Oh and Beka? James will help you get settled at Mystic Falls High tomorrow." She turned and walked down the hall. I slipped inside my room and groaned. They're making me go to school already? Great. I tried not to think like this but my mind thought it anyway. And at least my super hot cousin is showing me around.

I shook my head and looked around. The walls were a light lavender and there was a giant four poster bed in the middle of the room, the curtains and the bedspread matched, both were periwinkle with gold embroidery. The carpet under my feet was a cream color and there was a desk, a walk in closet and a built in bathroom. "WOW!" i whispered, under my breath. I sat on the bed and laid back. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, smelling lavender, rose, and something more masculine, pine or maybe spices?

Then I heard a knock on the door frame. I sat up and saw him. He flashed a smile and stepped inside.


	2. Be Careful

"What are you doing here?" I asked warily. He chuckled, a light, breathy, chuckle, "I live here." His voice was husky and deep, a shiver involuntarily went down my spine. I tried to cover it by rolling my eyes, "I meant, in my room." He laughed again and walked over, sitting in my chair that was by the window. "My mom wants me to show you around the school tomorrow, and that's kinda ironic, considering that we only moved here two years ago. If you want, I can show you. You can hangout with me and Jeremy." I hesitated and then shrugged, "Why not." He smiled a blinding smile and winked again, as he got up to leave, but before he left the room, he turned, "Better not go out tonight, it's a full moon, lots of dangerous creatures that go bump in the night." I laughed and then realized that all the humor had gone out of his voice. I looked outside and saw the sky was already dark and the moon was high in the sky. I sighed and pulled my toothbrush and PJ's out of my suitcase. I slipped into the bathroom and looked around, it matched the room, down to the gold embroidery in the periwinkle towels. I looked at my reflection in the large mirror. A pale girl with golden brown hair and deep brown eyes looked back. She had slight bags under her eyes from lack of sleep.

I shook my head and sighed, how could anyone think that I was pretty? I took my PJ's and changed, the cotton of the tank top was cool against my skin and my shorts were nice and soft. I brushed my teeth quickly and slipped into bed. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

* * *

In the morning, I felt refreshed and I walked down the hall into the kitchen, my shoulders slumped when I realized that it was four in the morning. I looked around until I found cereal, a bowl, a spoon and the milk. I ate quickly and then went into my room to change. I grabbed a button down top and light blue flare jeans. I slipped them on and brushed my hair, and I noticed that the bags under my eyes were gone. huh, weird.

A loud knock on my door startled me into turning and i opened it, annoyed. "Oh, you're ready?" A surprised James asked. I nodded, and he shrugged, "Lets go." He grabbed the car keys off the table and kissed Aunt Sue on the cheek, who in turn, sleepily patted my arm. We got in the car and he started driving, and I saw that my hand was shaking slightly, so I hid it.

I couldn't always be afraid of cars. James stopped at the school and he got out. "Follow me." He said and led me to the office. "Hi," He said. "My cousin is new here and she needs to know her classes." The receptionist looked up and smiled, "Of course, honey. We already got her all registered." She turned to me and stated, "Here is your schedule." I smiled and took the piece of paper from her. It had my locker and my classes on it.

I turned and the group of kids that had gathered all stared at me. I gave a weak smile and bowed. A few kids laughed and the rest muttered, embarrassed and split up. The one boy who was left was tall and brown haired. "Hey Jeremy!" James called. Jeremy smiled and walked over, punching James in the arm. "James," I said. "I'm gonna go find my locker, k." While I was walking away, I heard Jeremy say, "Aw, I love you so much James, see you later..."

and my back stiffened. I clenched my jaw and stalked away, but not before I heard "First, she heard you Jeremy, and second, shut up. She just lost her dad, and anything I can do to make her not mope, I would do it."

I found my way to my locker and opened it, putting my stuff inside. When I shut it, I saw James walking toward me. "Sorry about that. Jeremy isn't usually like that." He apologized. "That's okay, I guess. Thanks for standing up for me like that." His face turned a little redder as I smiled wryly. "Oh, um, you heard that?" I nodded and laughed. He broke into a grin and towed me toward my first class. History. I'm pretty good at history.


End file.
